THE
SOUTH
YOU GOTTA LOVE IT!
Tennessee
The owner of a golf course was
confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for
some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, 'You graduated from the University
of Tennessee and I need some help. If I were to give
you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?'
The secretary thought a moment, and
then replied,
'Everything but my earrings.'
Alabama
A group of Alabama friends went deer
hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the
hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point
buck. 'Where's Henry?' the others asked. 'Henry had a stroke
of some kind.
He's a couple of miles back up the trail,' the successful hunter replied.
'You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?' they
inquired.
'A
tough call,' nodded the hunter
'But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!'
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of
his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, 'Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right
over your head'. 'Yep', he replied, 'That's why I dumpin it here, cause it says, FINE FOR DUMPING GARBAGE!
Louisiana
A senior at LSU was overheard
saying... 'When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ..'
When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Louisiana because everything
happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized
world.
Mississippi
The young man from Mississippi came
running into the store
and said to his buddy, 'Bubba, somebody just
stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!' Bubba replied, 'Did you see who
it
was?' The young man answered, 'I couldn't
tell, but I got his license number.'
Georgia
A Georgia State
trooper pulled over a pickup on I-75.
The trooper asked, 'Got any I. D. ?'
The driver replied, 'Bout whut?'
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side
of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front
of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious
he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man replied, 'I have a flat tire.'
The passerby asked, 'But what's with the flowers?'
The man responded, 'When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. Hey, it don't make no sense to me neither.'
'HEY
- You can say what you want about the South, but I
ain't never heard of
anyone wanting to retire to the North!'